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Welcome to the stationary front-page post of DOOM! Feel free to enter a few comments about whatever. Actually, leave a comment. Or else. Comment here, and I'll comment on your page. Maybe review some of your flashes and audios as well. I don't know. Just say some crap. Visit my blog, there's a link above this sexy, sexy text. In the common case that you don't know who the hell I am, I am Zack. Fair enough? OK. I make flash and music, but the latter takes up most of my time nowadays. PM me if you want to.... well.... there's nothing I can offer. Leaving a comment on this page'll make you really happy, and some people are fortunate enough to win prizes. I'll try to keep this concise, so you won't lose much time - oh, it's a bit too late for that.... ah, well. Have a wonderful day!

And try not to be an idiot.

P.S. Yay, I'm alive.

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Graph data copyright 2008 Zack Fulpington.

One particularly bright and sunny day in the brilliant country of Vacotopia, Retraso the cow was going for a leisurely walk. "Oh, what a bright and happy day it is! Perfectly suitable for Cattlesmas on December 25th! I sure do hope that this wonderful weather can hold up for three more days!" You see, Vacotopia is a fantastic place. It's sunny all year round, and it's populace is composed solely of cows. That, and bulls. Either way, it is a utopia, where all live in peace.

That is, until Huevomudo the bull came along... he was a bad egg from year one. At Mistress Pareeltraducir's Cow School for Boys, he was exploding dry ice bombs in the school microwaves. So pretty, so awesome, so fatal. As the cows in the cafeteria did not know what murder was, they disposed of Pareseriamente Eltraducir's body in the dumpster. Huevomudo, of course, knew what he did was wrong. Did that stop him? Did it dissuade him from putting the lives of others at stake? Nope. All the way through his education, he was a tyrant, putting other's lives on the line.

When Huevomudo grew up, he blew up Idioto Incorporated's office field. That time, though, he went too far. Retraso, who was a pimply faced teen at the time, escaped the carnage and began a mission to hunt Huevomudo down. He monitored spikes of activity in the cows' otherwise laid back lifestyle, and whenever he detected one, he ran as fast as his pudgy legs could carry him to the scene of the crime. After many, many, many failed attempts to catch Huevomudo, he finally found him at his secret lair in the peaceful province of Muerte. Buried under miles of rock, he was virtually undetectable, until Retraso found him with the help of archaic cow pat trickles. This time, he wasn't going to let Huevomudo get away.

Dropping stealthily into the basement corridor of Huevomudo's lair, he stalked the smell of wet, slimy cow poo until he located a room full of blinky lights and rainbows and ducks. "Wha?!", exclaimed Retraso. Huevomudo was about to.... jump out of a window? "IT'S TOO MUCH! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!", shrieked Huevomudo as he leaped through the hole in the wall. "But I wanted some kind of epic battle that ladies would like me for!", cried Retraso as he leaped out the window as well.

And for years later, Vacotopia was a peaceful country. Many, many years. Almost too many....

END OF CONSPIRACY
OR IS IT?

Time to vomit 32,786 letters of my brain out on to the Newgrounds. Well, today is Thanksgiving, with the turkeys and the cranappleberrys and the other potatoes and crap. Delicious to eat, but your stomach may hurt a tiny bit after it exploded into a pile of steaming poop. That probably won't happen, but anything is possible... at least, in the Twilight Zone. However, this is not the Twilight Zone! This is the zone. Full of fun and crap. Mostly crap. Jeez, people nowadays are really stupid. For example, I was chatting with this guy - Michael Clark - and he thinks that "What's new?" is a good conversation topic. It's stupid. Victory for Firefox! And in spanish - ¡Victoria para el zorro del fuego! So Firefox really kicks some serious ass nowadays. Anyways, don't you hate those people who log in to various messaging clients but never respond? Pisses me the fuck off.

I finally did it! I'm a runner-up! Wahoo! Also, it thinks I'm popular! Rocks!

Newgrounds Radio works better than I thought it would. If you don't currently have it running....

Tune In Now!

Really, do it.

BuddyGrounds is the initiation process for the poor little children interested in Newgrounds. Instead of our vulgar crap, they can rest easy at http://buddygrounds.tk

I'm going to be working on BuddyGrounds for a while, so you won't hear from me.

Additionally, Aksumka finally followed up on the old-school stickers. Wahoo!

I...
+had pizza for breakfast
+watched several DVDs
+went on Newgrounds
+posted in the BBS
+peed in a toilet
+crapped in a toilet
+took a shower
+applied lotion to my burn
+ran around
+ran around
+ate some more pizza
+made a blog post about how stupid I am

I BET YOU CAN'T CLAIM THAT!!!